- A 29-year-old woman says she and her good friend got engaged on the same weekend last year
- The woman says she was initially asked to be in the friend’s wedding party, but the bride has since revoked the invitation, claiming that the woman’s engagement is “overshadowing things”
- The woman, who says she is “heartbroken,” shared her experience on Reddit, where many Redditors told her to skip the wedding — and move on from the friendship
A woman says she’s “heartbroken” after one of her oldest friends kicked her out of her wedding party and accused her of “unintentionally taking the spotlight.”
The 29-year-old detailed her experience on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?” where Redditors can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman shares that her good friend from high school, whom she calls “Emily,” 30, got engaged to her boyfriend of five years “a year ago.”
The woman shares that, coincidentally, her boyfriend surprised her with a proposal later that very same weekend during a pre-planned family getaway. The Reddit user says she “didn’t even post anything about it until after Emily made her announcement on social media,” noting that she ”didn’t want to steal her thunder.”
The original poster (OP) says that while Emily congratulated her, she was “noticeably cold” to her afterwards.
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“I brushed it off as stress. Planning a wedding is a big deal, and Emily has always liked to be the center of attention. I love her, but it’s just her personality,” the woman explained.
The woman also says she has been ”nothing but supportive” of Emily during this stressful time, noting that she has helped her with her DIY decorations, gone to fittings and even took time off work to visit venues.
However, the woman says “fast forward to about three months ago” when she found out that she is no longer in the bridal party — adding that she didn’t even find out from Emily herself.
“When I confronted Emily, she said and I quote: ‘I just feel like this is my year and your engagement is kind of overshadowing things. You’ve always had a way of unintentionally taking the spotlight.’ “
“I was floored,” the OP says. “I asked her when I’d ever done that. Her only example? Me getting proposed to the same weekend she did.”
The woman says she attempted to explain that she didn’t have control over when her now-fiancé decided to propose, and that she even delayed her own announcement so that Emily could “have her moment” — but she says Emily only “doubled down,” and insisted that it “felt like a pattern.”
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The Redditor says that Emily then told her that she thought it would be “less stressful for both of us” if the OP attended as a guest, “if I wanted to attend at all.”
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To add insult to injury, the OP says that her cousin — who is also friends with Emily — sided with the bride.
“She told the whole family that I was trying to compete with Emily, that I ‘rushed’ my engagement, and that I was being ‘toxic.’ She even said I ‘weaponized my engagement’ to make Emily feel inferior. WHAT?” she adds.
The woman says that the rest of her family — who are “extremely close” to Emily’s family — are also now involved, and her mother is “begging” her to “make peace.”
“My fiancé is furious and says I shouldn’t go to the wedding at all. I honestly don’t even know if I want to anymore,” the woman admits at the end of her post, adding, “So here I am. Alone, heartbroken, and somehow the villain in a story I didn’t write.”
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Redditors were quick to come to the OP’s defense, with many saying she would be well within her right to skip the wedding entirely — and potentially let her friendship with Emily go altogether.
“Emily wants to claim an entire year for herself and she’s calling the OP an attention-seeker? Her narcissism is off the charts and she can’t even be happy for you. You might have been her friend, but she isn’t yours. I’m sorry,” wrote one person.
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“Don’t go. She wasn’t your best friend I guess,” added someone else. “Just because someone got engaged and is planning a wedding, doesn’t mean other people’s lives stop. You did everything you could not to overshadow her. Don’t worry! And let the extended family be angry. Don’t invite them to your wedding (I am petty).”
Another person said: “What do they all think you should have done? Crush your boyfriend’s heart by saying no/let’s wait until she’s married?! Completely insane. NTA [not the a——] for sure.”
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