Biggest Revelations from Melinda French Gates’ New Book, from Her Bill Gates Divorce to Gaining 79 Lbs. in Pregnancy

• Melinda French Gates’ new book The Next Day is out now — and it’s filled with stories from the biggest transitions of her life
• The biggest change, her divorce from Bill Gates, remains painful to talk about, but as she recently told PEOPLE, “It was important for me to be real”
• Here are some of the book’s most notable moments and anecdotes

Melinda French Gates has a lot to say in her new book about the most transformative moments of her life, which yes, includes how she decided to leave ex-husband Bill Gates.

“There’s a lot that’s happened in my life over the last few years that I didn’t see coming,” French Gates writes at the start of her new book, The Next Day, out Tuesday, April 15.

At 60, she’s been through a lot, including the journey of raising three children, the death of a dear friend, the start of a new chapter while spending billions in support of women and girls everywhere, and a divorce, which remains painful for the philanthropist to talk about.

Still, as Melinda recently told PEOPLE, “It was important for me to be real” — and that she hoped in sharing her side of the story, “it might be helpful to someone else.”

Keep reading for some of the biggest bombshells and notable anecdotes from the book.

Nightmares Proceeded Her Divorce from Bill Gates

By the end of 2019, Melinda wrote that she began regularly having nightmares about a beautiful house collapsing all around her, visions which led to her waking up in a panic. Her subconscious, she noted, was being “a bit obvious.”

“Bill has publicly acknowledged that he wasn’t always faithful to me,” she writes, going on to mention a “deeply disturbing” article published that fall, when reports continued to grow about Bill’s past meetings with sex offender and financier Jeffrey Epstein. (Bill has called those meetings a mistake and recently said he was “foolish to spend any time” with Epstein, maintaining he was seeking charitable support.)

Eventually, Melinda wrote her dreams transformed into a vision of the then-couple and their three children on the edge of a cliff as she “plummeted” into the void.

“As dramatic as it sounds,” she wrote, “I knew, in that moment, that I was going to have to make a decision—and that I was going to have to make it by myself.”

A Fateful Trip to New Mexico

Although she initially tried to push away her concerns, when that didn’t work, she invited Bill along for a February 2020 trip to New Mexico. They tried to treat it “like any other vacation,” but on the last night, she told him she wanted to start living separately, with her remaining in their home with their youngest daughter, Phoebe, who was then a senior in high school.

“It was one of the scariest conversations I’d have had,” she wrote, recalling that Bill was “sad and upset” but also “understanding and respectful.” 

Back home in Seattle, they continued to work together with the Gates Foundation while living separately — even making joint appearances, which, Melinda noted, could be a bit awkward.

‘Tender’ and Weird Moments After Telling Bill She Wanted a Divorce

That August, Melinda told Bill she wanted a divorce and they shared a long, even occasionally “tender” conversation.

“And then I got in the car to drive home,” she continued. “On the way back, I pulled over into a parking lot and put on a Willie Nelson song we used to listen to together, ‘Always on My Mind.’ I bawled, sobbing over the steering wheel.”

“The day that followed was even weirder and more painful,” she continued. “I drove back out to Hood Canal so I could check on Bill and so we could start talking about how we’d tell our kids. Eventually, we got hungry, so we went out to get burgers.” 

“It was a scene that had played out hundreds of times between us. But this time, we were talking about how we were going to separate our lives,” she wrote.

Divorce Negotiation Panic Attacks

Once they’d agreed to divorce, Melinda knew the months ahead would be tough. “Bill has a reputation for being one of the toughest negotiators in the world,” she wrote, noting that she “started having panic attacks.”

Although the process of finalizing their split was “grueling” and surprisingly lengthy, once the agreement was reached, things moved quickly.

They took the weekend to tell some people close to their foundation, and the following day, May 3, 2021, they put out their joint statement. When news spread, Melinda was at home with her daughter Phoebe, then 18, who at one point, showed her mom some memes about the announcement.

“We laughed a little, but I wasn’t really in a celebratory mood,” Melinda wrote.

The Wedding Video That Now Brings Her to Tears

At one point in the chapter on her divorce, Melinda reflects on a video from their wedding reception that she used to watch nearly every year around their anniversary. In the clip, the pair are standing in front of their tiered wedding cake, but, as Melinda wrote, “Bill doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.”

“Instead of cutting one piece and feeding me a single bite like every other groom in history, he though the was supposed to cut a piece for everyone,” she continued. “When I figured out what he was doing, I burst out laughing so hard I couldn’t talk.”

Although he initially looked confused “because he can tell he’s gotten something wrong,” eventually he too started to laugh, just because she was.

“It captures so many of the things I loved about him,” she wrote, noting that “watching it now brings me to tears.”

Gaining 79 Lbs. During Pregnancy

When she was pregnant with her daughter Jennifer — now 28 and a mom of two — Melinda gained 79 lbs., more than twice of what the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends.

“That weight was the external projection of something I began feeling the very second I saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test: freedom,” she wrote.

She and her doctor didn’t see eye to eye about that at first, but once they established her health wasn’t at risk — nor was the baby’s — she told him she “didn’t want to hear a single additional word” about the topic, and that was that.

Welcoming Her First Child

On the morning of April 26, 1999, Melinda woke up to find her water had broken – but when she and Bill got to the hospital, she learned she was nowhere near ready to give birth, and doctors debated sending them home. 

“Ultimately, we settled on a compromise. I stayed at the hospital. Bill went to the office,” she wrote. “Before you roll your eyes, keep in mind that there really wasn’t anything for him to do yet. Plus I had a good book with me.” 

“In the end, I spent most of that magical day cheerfully alone,” she added. 

That afternoon, her active labor began and Bill went to the hospital – and Melinda asked him “to take his sweater off, though, because it smelled like the hamburger he’d eaten on the way, and I was far too nauseated to deal with that.” 

Before her daughter Jenner’s arrival, there was a “complication” with her positioning, and toward the end, in an effort to avoid a C-Section, Melinda agreed to a “a painful attempt to draw the baby out with the help of a vacuum.” (An attempt that ended, she wrote, with the doctor “shrieking, ‘Turn it off!’ ”)

Finally, at 6:11 p.m. her daughter was born – and she was “absolutely smitten”

Origins of Son Rory’s Name

When it came time to name her son, Melinda knew she wanted to honor her friend John Neilson, who died shortly after her son’s birth.

In her new book, the philanthropist wrote about her friendship with Neilson, whom she met at Microsoft shortly after she’d accepted a job at the company. The two became fast friends, and would often hang out with their spouses.

“I once told John that next to our children and families, Bill and I considered our relationship with John and Emmy to be one of the most important things in our life,” Melinda wrote. “In a way, we grew up together.”

When Neilson was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma, his cancer spread rapidly and Melinda, then pregnant, felt helpless. He entered hospice care when she was “more than nine months pregnant” and after making the decision to get an induction, she wanted to take time to visit, just in case. “I didn’t want to miss my chance to say goodbye,” Melinda wrote.

Melinda said that their conversation was “short but wrenching.” She told him she loved him and that she “would be giving his name to my son.”

John didn’t die that night and in the book, Melinda wrote that the last photo she has of them together was taken on his own porch, where he’s sitting with her after she left the hospital. “There’s joy in that picture,” she wrote, “because on his lap, he’s holding my son, Rory Gates. Rory John Gates.”

Becoming a Grandmother at 58

In her book, Melinda, who welcomed her first child in her early 30s, said that one of the things she didn’t anticipate at this stage in her life was becoming a grandmother before turning 60.

“During this season, I’ve seen my life change in ways I hoped for, ways I fought against, and ways I never could have imagined,” she writes in her book, which hits shelves on April 15. “At 58, much earlier in life than I expected, I became a grandmother.” 

Despite her surprise, she embraced the grandmother role with open arms.

French Gates first became a grandmother in February 2023, when her older daughter welcomed her baby girl, Leila, 2, with her husband Nayel Nassar. The couple are also parents to daughter Mia, 5 months. 

The grandmother of two recently told PEOPLE in an exclusive interview that she had “no idea” how “wonderful” it would be to become a grandparent.

“Any time I get to spend with these two little girls is just a delight,” she said.

The Next Day is available now.

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