Troubling Side Effects Keeping Secrets Has On Your Health

Everyone has a secret. As a child, it might be something harmless, like a crush on the kid who sits in front of you on the bus. But as we grow older, our secrets tend to become more complicated. It could be something questionable you did while traveling abroad, or calling in sick to work so you could attend a baseball game. Some secrets are even more serious, such as an extramarital affair or cheating on taxes.

Alcoholics Anonymous uses the phrase, “We’re only as sick as our secrets.” While that’s often applied to addiction, it can just as easily apply to anyone. Even if your secret doesn’t involve substances or compulsive behaviors, the act of keeping it can take a physical and mental toll. Carrying a secret invites stress, and chronic stress is known to affect the body in all kinds of ways. As cortisol levels rise, you might experience high blood pressure, digestive issues, trouble sleeping, or a weakened immune response.

Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes. The anterior cingulate cortex, a region of the brain involved in error detection and emotional regulation, is wired to support honesty and help you respond appropriately to your environment. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and predicting outcomes, evaluates the risks of disclosing your secret. If it senses potential consequences, it signals for you to suppress the urge to share. This internal conflict between what you want to express and what you’re trying to hide can activate a stress response (per Forbes). Over time, that pressure can influence emotional well-being, sleep, and immune function.

Keeping something private, like not bringing up family drama at work, is one thing. But a secret is different because it’s something you feel you have to hide. In close relationships, you might find yourself deliberately withholding information, even when it feels uncomfortable. If you’re involved in an inappropriate relationship with a coworker, just being around them in group settings can be stressful as you try to keep things under wraps.

While hiding a secret in the moment may be stressful, what’s more stressful is how often your mind returns to it afterward, according to a 2024 article in Current Directions in Psychological Science. Your mind will repeatedly think about your secret over and over again. Constantly thinking about a secret can stir up shame, loneliness, and a sense that you’re not being your true self. Over time, this kind of mental stress is linked to anxiety, low life satisfaction, and feeling disconnected from the people around you.

Part of the problem is that secrets rarely have a clear ending. They’re often tied to ongoing situations or unfinished business, so your mind keeps looping back to them. Even if no one finds out, the secret still lingers, taking up mental space. And because you’re not sharing it with anyone, you miss out on support from others, which just adds to the emotional load. You might want to open up but feel too ashamed or afraid to do it.

Keeping a secret can weigh heavily on you not only emotionally but also physically. Feelings like shame, guilt, and low self-worth don’t just stay in your head. They can take a toll on your body. “If it feels like a burden and you have to suppress it, it can interfere with your actions toward others,” psychotherapist Dr. Kristine Chapleau told the Toronto Star. “These types of secrets can also lead to an increase in stress hormones and a lower immune system response that makes you more likely to get sick.”

In small doses, stress can actually help your body, giving you a temporary boost in energy and immunity. When stress becomes chronic, the opposite can occur. According to a 2024 review in the Journal of Clinical Medicine, prolonged stress leads to constant cortisol release, which can weaken your immune response. That makes it harder for your body to fight infections or respond effectively to vaccines. Stress can also increase levels of inflammatory proteins in the body, which are linked to conditions like heart disease, diabetes, depression, and anxiety. (Read about the serious ways stress can do damage to your body.) Eventually, your body may even become less responsive to cortisol itself, raising the risk of autoimmune disorders.

Your day might be packed with responsibilities from work, family, and your social life. In the background, you’re also spending a surprising amount of mental energy keeping certain thoughts and feelings to yourself. All that effort can wear on you, even if you don’t realize it. When it’s finally time to wind down and sleep, that’s often when your mind starts spinning. You may begin to ruminate, replaying situations or imagining what might happen if your secret ever got out. The weight of those thoughts can stir up stress and emotional discomfort, making it harder to relax and fall asleep.

And this isn’t just an adult problem. A 2017 study in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that adolescents, too, are affected by the stress of secrecy. Teens often keep things from their parents, such as risky behaviors, academic struggles, or hidden emotions. The study found that the more secretive the teens were, the more negative emotions they felt about those secrets. In turn, this emotional burden was linked to lower sleep quality and more frequent sleep disturbances, like waking up during the night.

It’s no secret that chronic stress can raise your blood pressure. When you’re stressed, your body releases adrenaline and other stress hormones, which cause you to retain sodium. That extra sodium leads to fluid retention, putting added pressure on your blood vessels. Over time, this can contribute to hypertension. The psychological burden of keeping a secret can play a role in your risk of high blood pressure. The fear of being exposed or judged, along with the suppression of your emotions, can trigger a stress response that may keep your blood pressure elevated.

For people experiencing gender dysphoria, the stress of concealing their true identity can have serious health consequences. The constant inhibition of self-expression and pressure to conform can lead to behaviors that conflict with their authentic self. A 2012 study in the International Journal of Family Medicine looked at the rate of hypertension among 195 genetic males seeking feminizing hormone therapy. Compared to a control group of men from the same clinic, the males seeking treatment had significantly higher rates of hypertension. This suggests that the chronic stress of identity suppression may directly impact cardiovascular health.

Sharing a secret can feel like lifting a weight off your shoulders, but the burden doesn’t necessarily disappear. The person you seek out when you need to talk to someone may now carry that weight, which can be stressful for them, too. Think about how it feels when someone asks you to keep their secret—it’s not always easy. That’s why some people hesitate to confide in others or to be the one on the receiving end of a confession.

Telling your secret to someone you trust can be incredibly helpful, especially if they respond with empathy or offer thoughtful guidance. This kind of connection can make you feel less alone and reduce the emotional toll of secrecy. In fact, simply opening up might help you stop obsessing over the secret as much.

For some, confession has a formal, spiritual outlet. While some Catholics may feel nervous about confessing to a priest, the ritual can be emotionally and psychologically healing. A 2024 study in the International Journal of Multidisciplinary Studies and Innovative Research found that most people who took part in the sacrament of confession experienced emotional relief, spiritual renewal, and a sense of psychological freedom.

Even if you’re not religious, writing about your secret can have similar benefits. According to Scientific American, expressive writing helps organize your thoughts, reduces mental rumination, and can even improve your physical health by enhancing sleep and heart function.