NEED TO KNOW
- A woman says she doesn’t want to “entertain” the idea of her three stepkids each having their own bedroom when her family moves house
- She explains that she and her husband currently share a room with their 3-year-old, and she thinks it makes far more sense for her two stepsons to share instead
- Having shared the situation on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet, many people said they thought she was being completely reasonable
A woman says she does not want to “entertain” the idea of giving her three stepchildren their own bedrooms after her family moves house — and a lot of people agree with her logic.
The woman detailed her experience in the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet, a place where people can go to seek advice from others. In her post, the woman shared that she and her husband live in a three-bedroom home with their 3-year-old child, as well as her husband’s daughter and two sons from a previous marriage.
She says that her 3-year-old currently shares a bedroom with her and her husband, while the boys bunk in one bedroom and her stepdaughter sleeps in the third.
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The original poster (OP) goes on to explain that their family is getting ready to move into a four-bedroom home, and that they have a plan to build an extension to create a fifth bedroom “so that eventually everyone has their own room.”
She says that up until recently, it was agreed that everything would stay as is in the new arrangement — except that her 3-year-old will get his own room so that she and her husband “don’t have to share any more.”
However, the woman says that her husband has recently floated the idea of all three older kids getting their own room — meaning that she and her husband would have to continue sharing a bedroom with a “3 (nearly 4) year old until we do the conversion/extension” — which she notes might not be for “18 months.”
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To add insult to injury, she says that her stepchildren only spend “two nights a week” with them — meaning that her stepsons get their own space five other nights.
The woman asks her fellow community members if she is being “unreasonable” to refuse to “entertain” this idea, adding, “We are paying quite a big amount for this house … and honestly I just want my own damn room now!”
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“I am so looking forward to getting my own space back and, quite honestly, feel like I’d resent being in a room [with] all three of us again while another three sat empty nearly all week,” she adds.
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The vast majority of commenters reassured the woman that she is in no way being unreasonable — and that she deserves to have her own space.
“YANBU [you are not being unreasonable],” said one person, adding, “It’s not that your 3-year-old needs a room, [it’s] more that YOU need to have adult space.”
“Two siblings of the same sex and reasonably close ages sharing is far more reasonable than any other option you have,” another commenter agreed.
A third person added, “Two nights a week isn’t enough to warrant their own room. You need some private space. I’m sure your husband feels guilty about not living with his three children, but he’ll have to find another way to work it out.”
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