A woman has been branded “selfish and unkind” by her family after refusing to let her sister borrow her wedding dress.
In a lengthy post on Reddit‘s “Wedding Drama” forum, the woman, 28, explained that she got married three years ago and splurged on her dream dress after saving up money for several years. “It’s a custom-made gown that cost a small fortune, but I justified it because I wanted to pass it down to my future daughter someday,” the OP (original poster) noted.
Now it’s her sister Emily’s turn to be the bride. But the 25-year-old’s dress budget is much more limited, so she asked the OP to borrow her wedding dress. After giving it some thought, the OP politely declined Emily’s request, explaining that the dress has “sentimental value” and she wants to keep it “pristine.”
Emily was upset but seemed to accept her older sister’s decision. However, a few days later, their mom called the OP, accusing her of being “selfish and unkind” and not caring about Emily’s “financial struggles.” Urging the OP “to share,” their mom even offered to pay to have the dress professionally cleaned after the wedding.
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“But I still said no,” the OP wrote. “The truth is, I don’t trust Emily to take care of it properly. She’s not the most careful person, and I know she’d alter it to fit her style. I also don’t think anyone owes their wedding dress to someone else — no matter how close they are.”
Offering some context to her relationship with Emily, the OP noted that the pair have always had a rocky relationship and that her younger sister is “not the type to respect boundaries, which makes me even more hesitant to trust her with something so personal.”
The OP said her continued refusal to let her sister wear her dress resulted in Emily and their mom calling her “a bridezilla” and telling her she is “putting a material object over family.” The two sisters also discussed the issue again during a “tense” phone call, and Emily told her sibling, “[You’re] letting a ‘stupid dress’ ruin our relationship.”
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The OP concluded her post by insisting that, despite the flak she’s getting from her mom and sister, she’s “standing firm” in her choice not to lend the dress. She promised to provide updates on the disagreement.
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In the comments, many fellow Redditors assured the OP that she has every right to politely say no to her sister’s request. “Your dress, you paid for it,” one person wrote, adding, “Your sister needs to grow up and stop demanding other’s people’s things. Your mother needs to stop enabling your sister.”
Another said: “OP, this is a perfectly reasonable decision. If I were you, I’d just stop arguing or justifying or explaining. ‘I’ve made my decision. Please drop it.’ ”
Others suggested some solutions to the dress dilemma. “Tell your sister that there are plenty of options to buy a used wedding dress. Resale shops and Craigslist have many dresses she could chose from,” one commenter wrote. “She can then have it tailored to her figure and if it gets ripped, stained or torn, it won’t be coming between you.”
Someone else advised, “Tell your sister to look on Shein, Azazie, AliExpress. A lot of wedding dresses are under $100, she could get a good one for $100-$200.”
Another person shared their opinion that there is a bigger picture to the sibling disagreement. “This isn’t about the dress,” they argued. “The issue is that your sister demands what she wants, won’t take no for an answer, and your feelings don’t matter to her. When [Emily] didn’t get what she wanted, she bullied you and enlisted your mother to pressure you into complying with her demands.”
“Your mother’s behavior is also a problem,” they added. “Teaming up with your sister instead of calling her out for the way she’s treating you is wrong. The fact that both of them are now calling you names for not caving to your sister’s demand is manipulative. You deserve better.”
Credit: dotdashmeredith.com
